Please don't say you love me
by Karinka-ten
Summary: Sakura is a straight A student, good girl and syaoran is a rebel. They are in a casual relationship and slowly they both start falling for each other but are too proud and scared to admit it and friends and family get in the way of them having an honest relationship.


**Please don't say you love me**

**Chapter 1**

She thinks she is incapable of feeling anything. It's not normal...especially for a girl.

He knew his feelings were best left unsaid, it would upset her and their little meetings will come to an end. Perhaps he could let it pop up in a sentence and then take it back, just to see how she would to react. He put on his black sock and stared at her from the corner of her eye as she put on her maroon blazer.

He found it funny how they were craving for each others skin only a few minutes ago and now there was silence. She stood on the other side of the room, far away from him, as though he was a plague she was trying to avoid.

As she pulled her auburn hair into a high ponytail she caught him staring. Her guilty pleasure; she could not deny that she had looked forward to this part of her day, curled up in his arms, his body writhing up against hers as the rain fell outside. He used to be fun and outgoing, now it always seemed like he had a chip on his shoulder. He seemed bothered by her mere presence and she was not sure what to say around him anymore.

"What." she said looking at him for a moment.

He raises a shoulder and gives her a long suffering look "Nothing."

She places her hands on her hips "You've been acting weird lately." she says softly "I thought this is supposed to be fun?"

He swallows back his words and simply nods.

She settles next to him and rests her chin on his shoulder blade "Is it boring for you now?"

"No, it's not." he admits "not at all." Syaoran could feel his upper lip twitch.

"Then what's with the face?" she asks in a sweet calm tone.

"It's home stuff. My Dad is just being an ass." He thought he sounded convincing. After all he always had this negative air about him. It was his trademark.

She stood up and picked up her black stockings. As she skilfully puts them on, he is tempted to pull her back into his bed for another round.

He had created a monster. He was the one who had convinced Sakura that this was a good idea and that they were merely 'having a good time'. He had told her that people took sex too seriously and once you've gotten past the whole virginity thing, it's really not a big deal...just fun.

Sakura is a straight A student and her stepfather is a priest. She is the type of girl who seems like she can do no wrong.

But here she was with him calling the shots and telling him not to get soft on her. Perhaps she liked him for a moment and he ruined that with his tactics. Perhaps she had been looking for an opportunity to bend the rules and go against the pressure society had put on her. He was never quiet sure why she did it.

She puts on her black ballet pumps and the ghastly catholic girl school uniform is complete.

Her father would disown her if he was to find out, so why take the chance, he often thought. Especially with someone like him, the boy next door who had been suspended for school.

"So Sakura, how is school?" he asks her.

She laughs a little taken back by the invitation to small talk "Alright." she says confidently.

"And you're parents."

She fixes her read scarf "Alright...I guess."

"I'm going back to school; on Tuesday." he tries to sound non-chalet. He wondered if she even cared.

She walks up to his desk and sits on it, not minding the papers and magazines that were scattered on it "That's great." she says looking slightly distracted.

He watches her for a moment then says "Do you not want to be here?"

She smiles at him "I do...I'm glad you are going back to school. It's about time."

He smiles back.

Sakura could hardly understand why she did the things she did. Syaoran was probably the most handsome boy she had ever seen, in a small town where most boys her age were sons of farmers with no teeth and overweight. He has firely amber eyes, perfect smooth tan skin, dark brown chocolate hair and his feathers were perfectly symmetrical. He has a dimple on the cleft of his chin and he is medium built. He is the type of boy you show off to your girlfriends and you would want to take everywhere. He could have any girl. She often wondered why he wasted his afternoons with her. She didn't think she was all that good in bed or all that attractive.

She always considered herself to be a smart, cautious young lady but even she could not resist him. She tried not to stare at him too long; she was worried that she might fall in love with him. He was bound to break her heart. She was safer putting faith in her studies and her ambition to leave the small town that in an abstract concept like love.

She gets off the table. "I have to go."

He nods "Yeah."

"My Dad will be back any minute and I have homework."

He smiled at her "You don't have to explain yourself." he says putting on a white t-shirt. She had stayed longer today than she normally did. "I'll walk you to the door."

"I don't want anyone seeing me. You know its Friday, some of the folks here come from work early today." she walks up to the window, opens it and sticks her head out. It is still raining outside; she has to be extra careful. She shoots him a smile and climbs out "I'll see you on Monday Syaoran."

"Yeah." he says feeling unsatisfied.

He liked Sakura, more than he was supposed or intended to. He loved her slim frame and small breasts that fit perfectly in his palm. He loved her pretty heart-shaped face and bright emerald eyes. Her auburn hair always smelled like strawberries and despite how ugly her school uniform was; it looked better on her than it did on any other girl who went to 's Catholic School for girls.

...

Sakura opens the front door that leads into the foyer. She takes off her maroon blazer and scarf and hangs them on the coat hanger.

"Sakura" Nadeshiko, her mother calls out her name from the living room. Sakura is surprised that she is home; usually she is at the church being the perfect wife of the Priest.

"Coming." she enters the living-room to find her mother wearing a long red gown.

"What do you think?" she asks happily.

"It's nice..." Sakura raises an eyebrow folding her hands over her chest.

Nadeshiko spins around and starts singing Amazing Grace. Sakura did not understand how a woman such as her mother ended up with a man like her step-father Clive. They did not make sense.

As she was about to disappear out the room, Nadeshiko catches her "Hun, where are you going?"

"I have to do my homework." She says dryly.

Her mother smiles "We are having thanksgiving dinner with the Li family from next door."

Sakura's jaw nearly falls off as her mouth opens ajar. "The neighbours...why?" she asks in a tone that indicated displeasure.

Nadeshiko stops dancing "What's with that face. They made a generous donation to the church the other day. Dress up alright."

"I thought you said they lack moral back bone. She talks too much and he is abusive."

"I guess we were wrong." she says. "They are still one of the wealthier families in Tomoedea and it's good to have people like that showing commitment to their community."

"Why do I have to dress up?"

"To create a good impression. When our family invites people for dinner, we treat them like kings and queens."

Sakura rolls her eyes "okay...okay." she turns around and starts her way upstairs. Syaoran was coming to her house? He was going to be walking on floors and staring at walls she had been familiar with all her life. Feelings of panic stroke her and she could comprehend them. There was no need to be nervous, it was only Syaoran.

The moment she reached her room, she felt like she needed to clean it. It didn't seem clean enough...or mature enough. Surely he was going to tease her if he saw her pink hello kitty sheets and stuffed animals. She had created the image that she was a mature 17 year old; this visit was bound to tarnish the way he perceived her.

She opened her closet for plain sheets and hid her stuffed animals under the bed. She put away embarrassing pictures of herself and her diary. She quickly took a bath and put on a knee length white dress.

Her mother comes to her door to tell her that their guests had finally arrived "You look nice." she comments "Looks like you were only pretending not to care."

She follows her mother.

As she walks down the wooden steps she can see a guy's feet. From his disposition, she knows it is him. Her vision met his. He smiled at her and she smiled back a little then looked away.

"This is our daughter Sakura." Nadeshiko introduced her.

As she politely greets Syaoran's parents, she could sense that he is looking at her and she can not help but stare back for short intervals.

"This is our son Syaoran." they said to her "You two must be the same age."

"I've seen Sakura around." Syaoran says stretching out his hand shake hers. She looks absolutely beautiful. He can not keep his eyes off of her. His family is underdressed compared to Sakura's. He wore black jeans and a button up shirt.

...

They all sit at the table. Syaoran sits next to Sakura. Sakura's mother had gone out of her way to cook. Their parents conversed about the church and their children.

"Sakura is top of her class...she wants to go to Cambridge...she works at the Reach For A Dream Charity..."

Syaoran parents didn't have much to say about him.

The two families are absolutely different. Syaoran's family is liberal. His mother, an ex model owns a couple of boutiques in town and his father is an accountant. They usually isolated themselves from the community. Sakura's family on the other hand is conservative and an important figure in their community. Everyone in the small town knows them. As a result, the conversations were somewhat awkward at times and they seemed to clash in many subjects.

After dinner, they all sit in the living-room trying to force interesting conversations. Sakura is obedient while Syaoran seems aloof. Soon, he stands up and excuses himself, claiming he wanted to go outside for some fresh air.

He walks out to the back yard. He searches for a cigarette on the back pocket of his jeans and then lights. He could hear footsteps approach him. Thinking it is Sakura he smiles and slowly turns around. To much of his disappointment his father is standing before him. His Father is a tall built man. He has silver hair that seems to be getting thinner right in the middle.

"What do you think you are doing?" he asks.

"I am having a smoke." Syaoran says casually.

"Are you trying to humiliate me? Why aren't you helping in the kitchen? You do realise you come across as rude and unappreciative."

"You don't even like them." Syaoran says as his cigarette slowly died between his fingers.

"I know you only do this to get on my nerves."

He takes a wisps of his cigarette "It's not always about you Dad."

"I'm sick of your shit." he says angrily.

Syaoran often brought out the rage in his father.

He raises his shoulders. He throws the cigarette to the ground and steps on it. He was tired of the way his father looked at him. He always had a disappointed look in his eyes.

According to Syaoran, he had a good reason to act the way he had been for the last few years. His parents were not married when he was born and his mother had full custody. His father lived in Hong Kong and barely came to see him. The fondest memory he has of his father in his childhood was the one time he visited them on Christmas Day and bought him a bicycle. When he was 13 years old, his mother started seeing his father discreetly and then suddenly they were married. Syaoran found his fathers expectation of a normal family life to be unreasonable. He suddenly decides he is interested in his son's life and wants to take up the role of disciplinarian? Syaoran was not going to stand for it, he was going to rebel until his point was made clear...he did not want his father in his life.

He ambles past his father.

"Whatever." he mutters.

He walks back in and makes his way to the kitchen to find Sakura putting away the leftovers in the fridge. He smiles and tucks his hands in his pocket. He watches her admirably for a moment before he speaks.

"You are so domesticated." his voice is cool and calm. He decides to ignore the agitation his father inspired in him a few minutes ago.

She smiles...only a little "I would hardly call this being domesticated."

"Aren't you going to give me the grand tour of your house?"

She nods "But I must warn you, it's a boring house."

He smirks "I'm fine with boring."

She walks past him and he walks behind her. He watches her body as she walks. He follows her upstairs.

"This is the bathroom...this is my parents room...here is the study." he looks uninterested in what she is saying. He keeps his eyes fixed on her the whole time.

"And this is my bedroom..." she opens the door and he enters.

He gives her room an approving nod. "So this is where you touch yourself when you are missing me." he says.

Sakura covers his mouth with both her hands "shut up will you."

He laughs into her hands.

She shakes her head and slowly peels her fingers from his face.

"You look beautiful." he tells her.

She blushes and sits on the bed "Thanks."

She takes off her 4 inch black mary-jane heels. He walks up to her desks and analysis inspirational quotes she puts up on her wall. He shifts to her book collection.

He is silent and she is suddenly nervous. He has not given her an opinion on what he thinks about her taste in books or teased her. She pulls her dress over her knees and he turns around holding a novel.

"Can I borrow this?" he asks. "Animal Farm...I lost mine."

She nods "sure."

He finally walks up to bed after placing the book on her desk and sits next to her. He places a hand on her knee and as she tries to kiss him, he pulls away. "What if they catch us?"

"We are only making out."

He turns away from her "Still, your father scares the shit out of me."

Sakura sighs and falls back on the bed. She stares at the ceiling and he says to her "Am I making you nervous?"

"Not more that usual."

He lies next to her and smiles "I make you nervous."

"Yes. When I'm around you...I feel like I'm being bad."

He chuckles and rests his hand on her stomach. "So is this the real you."

"What do you mean?"

He puts more pressure on the hand that rests on her flat tummy "All this, the polite behaviour...the pink wallpaper and the sappy life quotes."

Sakura wrinkles her nose.

"I know the side of you that you show me when we are alone in the bedroom is only a small portion of who you are and I don't know if it is intentional but you have me convinced that there is so much more to you."

She blushes and sits up.

She shakes her head still looking up. She didn't want him to tell her things like he loved her or wanted to be with her. She knew she was not going to say it back.

"You try too hard to be poetic and morbid."

He chuckles.

She could smell the smell of cigarette on his breath. She turns her head away.

"It's all a facet...this little act of yours." she looks at him once more "no one is buying it." she lies on her back once more.

He lies next to her, their shoulder blades touching. There is a moment of awkward silence.

"I can't believe I'm in your house, after one year of being your neighbour." he says in an attempt to break the awkwardness of the moment.

"Me too." she says "I was surprised when my parents invited yours over."

"Is that why you got all dressed up? Cause you knew I was coming."

She sighs and tries not to cackle "I always look like this in the house."

"Really?" he says sarcastically.

"Yes...yes..."

He cups the back of her neck, his thumb caressing her just under her left ear. He can feel her pulse leap and then he sees a smile burst across face. He leans in to kiss her when a knock on the door interrupts him. Syaoran watches her smile die. She yanks herself away from his touch.

"Come in."

Her mother opens the door "Syaoran, there you are; you're parents are about to leave."

He stands up and fixes his collar "Alright. I'll be right down." He picks the novel up from the desk.

"Nice meeting you Sakura." he says. It doesn't seem like her mother is going to leave them alone.

He walks past her.

After he is no longer in her sight, she gives Sakura a disapproving nod. "No boys in your bedroom."

"Really, you've never told me that."

She walks in "It has been implied. I don't think you should associate yourself with him."

Sakura clasps her hands "and why not?"

"Well...he is below you. Bad reputation. He was suspended from his last school for threatening a teacher."

...

Syaoran looks back at the Kinomoto residence as he follows his parents out the driveway. He looks up at Sakura's bedroom window and smiles to himself at the thought of her

...

to be continued


End file.
